Teen Titans Comedy
by MissQueene07
Summary: A hilarious story that my friend and I, 'Double B' he calls himself, came up with. We'll keep updating - don't worry. PG for implied inappropriate behavior at times.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: My friend and I came up with some hilarious Teen Titans situations, and I took our random ideas and formed a story. Please review! Also, an important factor to the comedy of this story is Raven's monotone voice. You may want to say what she says aloud, because saying it normally may change the outcome.  
  
Introduction: Beastboy and Cyborg are playing chess, and Robin is lingering over them, watching intently for their game to end; he has next game. Raven silently meditates in her room, and Starfire is searching the kitchen over for her favorite drink, mustard.  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Starfire closed the refrigerator and exited the kitchen, walking silently towards Robin. "Robin, where is the mustard? I am quite dehydrated and request a drink," she said innocently. Robin crossed his arms and leaned against a nearby table. "Mustard isn't a drink, Starfire. We stopped buying it ever since you started gulping it down in two minutes," he mumbled in response.  
  
"Shush! Chess is a quiet game!" Cyborg yelled aloud. Robin grinned, "Is silence even possible with you two?" Beastboy frowned a bit, but paid his response little attention. Starfire, still a bit confused, raised her voice even louder. "Perhaps Raven has some mustard?" she moved aside and walked towards Raven's room. Cyborg shook his head, feeling a bit sorry for Starfire.  
  
~*~  
  
Starfire barged into Raven's room, and immediately covered her mouth with both hands. Raven was floating in meditation, and she opened one eye to stare at her. "I thought we agreed that you would knock before you came in," she said emotionlessly. "I am very sorry, Raven. Perhaps I should try again?" "Knock to your heart's content." She exited Raven's room and instantly knocked thrice on her friend's door.  
  
Raven sighed, debating whether she should let Starfire in or not. In the end, she decided it wouldn't hurt anything. "... Come in." She reentered her room and smiled as she slowly approached. "You wouldn't happen to have any mustard, would you?" Raven rolled her eyes. "You think I would have... mustard?" "No fair," Beastboy shouted, "I bet you cheated!"  
  
"Friends, friends!" Starfire yelled as she rushed out of Raven's room. Raven, although wanting some alone time, had already been disturbed in her meditation. So, she decided to see what was up.  
  
~*~  
  
As Starfire entered the room in a hurry, she noticed that Beastboy was sticking his tongue out at his rival, and arms crossed. "Friends, why are you playing such a game that would break your relationship?" She blinked in confusion. "I won fair and square," Cyborg said proudly, and exited the room. "You SO did not!" Beastboy argued, following behind him.   
  
Robin sighed and stalked them, "I'm supposed to play thewinner!" Raven walked in after he had left and shut the door. "Raven, why is this game in black and white? Televisions have color." Raven rolled her eyes and kept quiet. Despite her friends' prior argument, Starfire spoke up again. "Raven, would you like to play this game?" "If I play, will you leave me alone?" "Ummm.. Yes?" "Fine."   
  
Starfire squinted at the board game. She hadn't really paid attention to the guys as they were playing, but she knew that each person controlled a color. "What color would you like to be?" "Black. I'm ALWAYS black." "Actually, I've seen you in blue," Starfire said with a smile.  
  
Raven tried to ignore that statement best she could, and retired to Beastboy's former seat. "Let's just get this over with," She said. "But Raven, I do not know how to play." "Then how do you expect to play it?" "I thought... you could teach me? I have no mustard, and neither do you, so..." Raven dragged her hand down her face. But for the sake of her sanity, she decided it was best to teach her. After all, no more Starfire right?  
  
Starfire sat across from Raven, and began subconsciously playing around with a chess piece. "Ok Starfire, set up your pieces." Starfire blinked and stared at her blankly. "You don't even know how to set it up???" The white pieces were scattered across the board in no specific order, and the black ones were in even rows. "Shall I do the same as you?"  
  
Raven nodded and crossed her arms impatiently. Starfire shrugged, and matched Raven's side exactly. "What shall I do now, Raven?" "Make your move. White always goes first." "But that sounds racist." "JUST GO!" "But- I do not know how to move these tiny soldier replicas." "You're hopeless."  
  
~*~^~*~  
  
A/N: Ackhem!   
  
Will Starfire ever learn how to play chess?  
  
Can they break her addiction of mustard?  
  
Will Raven ever get peace and quiet?  
  
Will BB & CG ever decide who won so Robin can play? 


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Another funny chapter coming your way!  
  
Introduction: Raven gives up on Starfire and chess,["What does this horse do, Raven?" "It moves in an L shape." "On my planet, horses gallop straight."] and goes to bed early. Starfire plays against herself, in a game that only SHE could make up, and went to catch some z's afterwards. The boys fell asleep in front of a flashing tv, their favorite video game still on. Now it's morning...  
  
Chapter 2  
  
Starfire awoke and gently floated into the kitchen. The others had already awakened: Raven sat quietly at the table, her hood down. Cyborg and Beastboy were also at the table, but playing with their food, and Robin stood near the refrigerator in a trance. "Hello friends," she said aloud as she poured cereal into her bowl. But as she reached into the refrigerator, she failed to find what she wanted.  
  
"Where might the milk be?" she asked. "Beastboy had three bowls of cereal," responded Raven, in an irritated voice. Starfire pouted. "But, how can I dine on cereal without milk? Or mustard?" Beastboy stood up from his seat and transformed into a cow. "Milk me, Raven!" "No." "You know you wanna!" Raven rolled her eyes in disgust.  
  
Beastboy got the message, and returned to normal. "Well, there IS another way," he said. Starfire's face brightened up. "What other way would that be?" Beastboy's gaze lowered to Raven's chest, and winked. Starfire quickly slapped Beastboy, "Friends do not do such things." Cyborg cracked up, and Raven pulled up her hood, "I'm so outta here." She stood and left the kitchen.  
  
Robin had been listening this whole time, but was too lazy to move at the time. "I guess I'll go to the grocery store.." Starfire folded her hands in delight, "Please get some mustard, Robin!" He sighed and walked towards the door. Starfire raised her hand and waved it in the air, "Ooh! And a bowl of cotton!" "You mean cotton candy?" "On my planet, we would have never tried to eat cotton."  
  
"Hey Star, that was pretty cool, hitting Beastboy and all," cheered Cyborg, and held up his hand for a high five as Robin exited the building. "Have.. I done something wrong?" "I don't think so. Why?" "Because you are threatening to hit me with your hand." Cyborg burst out laughing, again. Starfire crossed her arms. "Injuring people is not funny," and she left him for more suitable company.  
  
"Was it really that funny?" Beastboy asked, his eyes crossed.  
  
~*~  
  
Starfire entered Raven's room, and approached her happily. Raven stared at her angrily. "Oh yes. I forgot about the door again," she said. "Don't worry about it this time. What do you want?" "I thought that we might 'hang out' or potatoe on the couch together," she said with a smile, holding up several movie rentals. "I'm busy. Go bother Beastboy." Starfire nodded and set the movies on one of her tables and exited Raven's room. "I've got to get a lock on that door."  
  
~*~  
  
"Beastboy, may I enter?" she asked as she knocked thrice on the door. "Sure Star, come on in." Starfire smiled, getting in some practice for Raven's room. But as she entered, she stared in disbelief. "Beastboy, are you... watching paint dry?" Beastboy sat indian style on the floor, his eyes widened, and he faced a freshly painted wall. He held a finger to his mouth. "Shhh.. this isn't just any paint." Starfire tilted her head, trying to understand. "On my planet, we only have a variety of colors." "It's Raven resistant," he said with a huge grin. Starfire blinked and exited.  
  
~*~  
  
"Cyborg! What are you doing!?" shouted Starfire. "It's not what you think!" he pleaded, "I was only getting codes!" Cyborg unplugged himself from the videogame system, and rubbed his head. "What a relief." The game was still paused in the position it had been ignored that night, and Starfire smiled slightly. "Would you consider engaging in virtual combat with me Cyborg?" "It would be YOUR pleasure," he smirked.   
  
~*~^~*~  
  
For some odd reason, it seems each chapter somewhat revolves around Starfire. Oh well, as long as it's funny right? I guess she's just the right character to center it on: she is so naive! ^_^ 


End file.
